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The best candle in existence is The Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster. Take the white grapes from Ol' Janx Spirit, pour in one measure of lemon from the trees of temperate beaches, allow natural oak to bubble through it. Remove the lid. Watch it burn, spreading the fires of the American sun into the heat of the candle. Light...but very carefully.*
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*Respectfully parodied in homage to The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, chapter 2